How to Come Off as More Confident to Others

How to build your confidence — and spark it in others

Many studies have proven that the saying “Fake it till you make it” has some psychological backing to it. By pretending to be more confident, and carrying yourself as such throughout your day, you will cultivate self confidence.

Coming off as confident to others can help you in job interviews, work environments, meeting new people, and much more. There are simple tactics you can follow in your social interactions with others to portray yourself as more confident than you really are, and I outlined a few that worked for me here:

Speech

How you communicate with others verbally will greatly impact the way they perceive you. The more confident you sound in your speech, the more likely it is that the person you are speaking to will listen and remember.

If you are a professional delivering a sales pitch, you want to leave a good impression with your audience. If you are interviewing for a job, a confident way of speaking will have you stick out in the interviewer’s mind.

Everyone can recognize a confident speaker when they hear one, you probably remember a few yourself. Here are a couple of ways you can sound more like them:

Avoid mumbling or speaking in a low tone that forces your listener to strain their ears: this will make you appear unsure and insecure in what you are saying. Speak slowly, clearly, and audibly.

Talking fast or too loud will make you seem nervous.

Allow a few short silences in between speaking for resonance with your audience, but also to allow yourself time to choose wisely what to say next. Adjust your words so that you are not constantly apologizing. A lot of us have a habit of saying “sorry” dozens of times a day.

There are many ways to send a more confident message while also still being polite: Instead of saying “sorry” as you pass by someone, say, “Excuse me”; Instead.

Body Language

In a conversation, dialogue is only a fraction of the information being absorbed and interpreted by the brain; body language is just as important as what is being said. You have to seem confident in your body in order to really sell the idea.

Having good posture is probably one of the first tips people will give you to come off as confident, and there’s a reason for that. A slouched back is the language of someone who is trying to hide and take up as little space as possible.

Stand up straight, push your shoulders back, and keep your head held high. If you sit in a chair for a large portion of your day or carry a heavy bag, yes, it is likely that you will naturally develop stooped shoulders.

I used to have a very bad slouch, but I’ve since straightened out by standing with my back completely against a wall, making sure my shoulders are against it as well. This may work for you, but if not there are plenty of exercises out there to help.

Eye contact is a key formula in seeming confident in a conversation.

If you lower your eyes or look away, it may seem as though you are intimidated by the person you are speaking with or subordinating yourself to them Obviously don’t intensely stare this person down––that can come off the wrong way.

But maintain a steady amount of eye contact throughout the conversation, take breaks but try not to be the first to look away. In a group conversation, if you are the one speaking, make eye contact with various people in the conversation. If someone else is speaking, avert your eyes to them.

You might also find it useful to perfect your handshake, as a firm handshake will leave a lasting impression with the recipient. Handshakes are especially common in a professional setting and is often the first thing an interviewer notices. This tool will be valuable to a striving professional working on exuding confidence.

Clothing

You can come across as confident to others without even engaging with them. Before you initiate a conversation with someone, and get to exercise confident speech and body language, they will often notice your fashion.

Interviewers will also be paying attention to the way you are dressed and what that says about your character. This is why it is important to wear clothes that make you look confident.

Wearing the right clothes can even make you feel confident, which will inadvertently permeate into your behavior and actions. Wear clothes you are happy in, clothes that create a bounce in your step.

Well fitted clothes will exude confidence. Others might perceive you wearing looser fitting clothes as you trying to hide your body. If your clothing is so tight that it looks like a button is about to pop open, it can be distracting to others and will not work in your favor. Additionally, if the clothes are an uncomfortable fit, you will not feel confident.

Your clothes should have a balance between comfort and style. Stylish clothes will indicate to others that you are good at decision making. If they find you attractive, they are more likely to see you as a confident individual.

You don’t want to wear uncomfortable clothing, as the discomfort will prevent you from fully engaging in social scenarios, making it impossible to exemplify the breadth of your aptitude

In Summary.

Self confidence can be a tricky thing, and many of us are still working on how to improve ours.

But you don’t have to be confident yet in order to come off as confident. Feigning confidence will award you the advantages that come with actually being confident: success in career development, being listened to and leaving an impression, success in your romantic life, and much more.

The biggest benefit of faking it till you make it––actually growing more confident because of it. Navigating the world like a confident person is a good first step in instilling authentic confidence inside of yourself.